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***The Official Guess What Happened to Wakefagz Thread***

HOODSHOODS Posts: 41,866 destroyer of motherfuckers
edited April 2012 in Off Topic
1. He was murdered by his wife.
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Comments

  • NecrothulhuNecrothulhu Posts: 33,444 master of ceremonies
    2. Vacation accident and he can't get online
    imageimage
  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    3. He lost an argument with a dealer and was subsequently shot and killed.
    I love winning with women
  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    4. Turned ghay moved to SanFranfago


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • 1D_for_life1D_for_life Posts: 13,785 destroyer of motherfuckers
    5. He realized how stupid we are
    image
  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    5. He realized how stupid we are
    4. Turned ghay moved to SanFranfago
    3. He lost an argument with a dealer and was subsequently shot and killed.
    These all happened. In this order.
    I love winning with women
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    6. Fed up with his self righteous, holier than thou, and condescending attitutude
    Bianca dressed in a pure mink coat with leather boots and hitchhiked across the plains of the USA, travelling by night and only eating berries and road kill that she found along the way, catching a lift only with Amish folks for fear of leaving an identifiable carbon footprint, and in exchange for unlubricated butt sex she finally made her way to Wakes 6000sq foot mansion, crept thru his house after deactivating his crappy security system and tip toed silently (except for the occasional noisy passing of wind) on genuine Indian moccasins in the dead of night to his bedside where she drapped a pair of her ravishing red panties across his nose and suffocated him with a sadistic and gleeful chortle as she ate a peppermint swirl cupcake and scratch at a pimple on her left butt cheek
  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    I. Fully. Believe it.
    I love winning with women
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    Alex. Don't. Piss. Her. Off!
    ( or we'll call you Alex Wayne Bobbitt)
  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    Better theory.

    10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
    Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy fucking shit! Then the X-Files being, Wake, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa, did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants." And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, Wake revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You... are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!
    I love winning with women
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    I prefer my version of being suffocated with Biancas panties
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    @alex bobbitt
    Nice story
    Tell it to Readers Digest
  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    As fap-worthy a theory as that is, I like aliens [-(
    I love winning with women
  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    One does not simply compress my abduction story into a fifty word limit column.
    I love winning with women
  • HOODSHOODS Posts: 41,866 destroyer of motherfuckers
    in exchange for unlubricated butt sex
    i lold
  • monicaamonicaa Posts: 7,109 destroyer of motherfuckers
  • NolaFree810NolaFree810 Posts: 36,796 moneytalker
    does wake have fb
  • NecrothulhuNecrothulhu Posts: 33,444 master of ceremonies
    I don't think he does
    imageimage
  • Chicken_FuckerChicken_Fucker Posts: 15,691 destroyer of motherfuckers
    He does, he just wouldn't give it any of us.
  • NolaFree810NolaFree810 Posts: 36,796 moneytalker
    whats his name
  • monicaamonicaa Posts: 7,109 destroyer of motherfuckers
    He does. But he doesn't mix the forum life with home life. He never once got on this forum at home. It was always at work. I miss himm.
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